I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize