You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
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