i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I did not marry a roomba.
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