doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
