If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
It's never too late to be topless.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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