I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
vagina is talking i cant
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Boobs speak an international language.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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