Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
