Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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