I am puke
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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