i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
