If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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