Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
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There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
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Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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