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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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