But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
