shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize