Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Threesome in a minivan. New low
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
