I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
