i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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