My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
