I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
