For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
