she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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