does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
