do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
