Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
