Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
