u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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