so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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