Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
