i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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