ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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