C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
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