before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
