Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
