And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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