i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
