Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
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