dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
