5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
