Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
