Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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