Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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