she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
