he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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