and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize