it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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