Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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