I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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