No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
you inspire me to be a worse person
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
