My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
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i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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