I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
