Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
