It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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