I'm going to rape someone's good day.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
